A remake for someone

My friend Kerry wanted me to take a short storie she wrote and write it more poem like, this is what she wrote,

The more I want to hate him the more I fall in love with him more and more
I don't understand why I love him so much but I just love him. When I sit next to him I feel as though butterflies are in my stomach, I want to kiss him and cuddle with him forever his eyes are light brown like Carmel and times I wouldn't even look him in the eyes because when I look him in the eyes I fall in love with him more and more. The smell of him smells like someone finally being with the person they love.  I told him that I really like him and then he tells me that he likes someone else it hurts when someone is with the person you love. You feel like you were stabbed in the heart. You feelings don't feel as important anymore. I feel what she has that I don't have. So you decided that you're too strong to give up easily you lie to him so he can feel the pain that you feel and you hope that just maybe he cares enough to stop you. I tell him that I'm seeing someone else hoping that he would care to say to me that  …… don't date him I didn't mean it when I said that I don't love you too.

this is what I wrote,

It will never be clear to me of my feelings I hold for him, love is in my nature but I must thrust him away. Internal butterflies float and sink within my body as his presence is near, his eyes, oh how I fall into his brighten russet eyes, And if I dare to look into his eyes, I fall, fall deeper into an uncontrollable daze. In this daze I can only feel a kiss or his touch. So I urge to look away. I have to look away, hurt can only fill your heart when you love someone that loves someone else. From now his eyes are tarnished with the love held for another. Yet his aroma is the scent of true love. My heart, was taken down, torn and worn I can only feel that the other girl has stole the better from me. I cannot think for my own feelings now, roughly like they do not matter. But my will is strong, I will not give up. There is a hope in me that forces myself to lie. I say, I am with another, only in hopes he would say something, anything of the sorts that he would want us to be.  Stop me I pled, I just want to know you care, take it back, so I can take it back…. With you.

So, what do ya think?